2012 was full of blessings and disappointments. In November we were blessed with baby number four and I headed to the doctor for the initial prenatal checkup. There were some concerns with my Ultrasound and so I was scheduled for a second one right after Thanksgiving as well as some lab work. At the next appointment we discovered that I was experiencing a miscarriage at approximately 7 weeks gestation.
I was devastated and retreated into myself as I tried to cope with having to have another baby in heaven instead of in my arms. We came to find out that the Diocese of Phoenix takes care of even the youngest amongst us who pass away. Queen of Heaven Cemetery has a designated spot for the babies known as the Hill of the Unborn. It is open to any mother who has an early miscarriage so that we may bury our babies and it is free. This was a huge healing moment for all of us and our good friend Deacon Bill Malatin joined us for the burial.
I know as time goes by the hurt will begin to turn into acceptance and peace. We were certain this was going to be our baby girl so she is named Navit Anne Gilliland (pronounced Na-veet). I now have two beautiful babies in heaven and we miss both of them but sometimes in life we have to learn how to let go. God alone knows a mother's heart and I have faith that he will help me and my family heal.
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A blanket I crocheted and the small casket
the boys decorated for their sister. |
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| Checking things out |
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| Uncle Adam and Simon |
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| A hug for Daddy |
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| Hill of the Unborn |
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| Taking Navi to her resting place |
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| The older boys sprinkling dirt over their sister |
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| Me, my mom, Liam and Hadrien |
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| The Gilliland Bunch |
